Thursday, June 14, 2012
Blessings amid this year's Tour de Cure
It has been a very long time between posts. I have been doing most of my communicating on Facebook, but this story is too long for a quick post so I thought I would return to the blog. The last several weeks have been pure chaos to say the least. Over Memorial Day weekend I was in a car accident in the Walmart parking lot of all places! I have insurance and it is all going to be fine, but it has added a bit of stress to my life. The week after that, I was awakened in the middle of the night to a lovely flood in the hallways and kitchen of my apartment. The source of this flood was my upstairs neighbors' washing machine. They have been very apologetic and had taken care of the clean up, but again, added stress. This stress is just on top of my everyday work, church (I am the primary pres in my ward), and life in general stress. This past Saturday was my 4th year of riding in the Tour de Cure for Diabetes. It is a fundraising event that raises money for diabetes support, education and research. It went very well. But I was a little bit worried going in. With my car accident and flooded apartment and all the chaos in my life recently, I hadn't been able to train the last two weeks. I had been feeling pretty alone in life as well. I mean I have wonderful neighbors and friends, and they had all been so supportive and kind to me, but when you are on your own, bottom line all the decisions are on you. No one can take them away from you or even truly share the burden, it's all on you. So I was really feeling that last week. Then Friday night I find out that for various reasons I was going to be the only "red rider" (diabetic riders) riding the 25 mile ride. I totally understood the reasoning for this, but honestly, being the only "red rider" on our team doing the 25 miler, was feeling like a very lonely place to be. I had a very frustrated conversation with my Father in Heaven Friday night. I was actually quite belligerent and I acknowledged that, but I just couldn't seem to help how I felt. I simply said at the end of it that it was going to be fine. I'll do this alone no worries, I will NOT be beaten and if this is how it needs to be, FINE!! I got this ALL BY MYSELF! Just watch me!! So I got ready that night. I spent the night at my mom's house so I wouldn't have to get up so early. I went to bed relatively early…for me anyway. But I was going to be plenty rested and ready to go. Then at about 4 or 4:30 in the morning I had a massive insulin reaction. It was pretty bad! I swear I honestly think that stress and emotions cause these sometimes! I thought, UNBELIEVABLE!! I was not as rested as I wanted to be, but oh well. Later that morning I got up, got ready to go. Cindy, my sister met us at my mom's and she asked me who I was going to ride with. I said I didn't know yet. She said that she had not been able to train much this year and so she was going to be taking it easy and she would ride with me. This is a pretty big deal, not because, Cindy isn't kindhearted or anything, but because Cindy is commonly referred to in my family as the gazelle. She just tends to take off and is usually miles ahead of us slow pokes. I thanked her and was feeling a bit better about things. I had someone who was going to ride with me and keep me company during the 25 miles. So we got there, I got my "red rider" jersey, and was told at that tent that the majority of the money raised on Saturday was earmarked for research projects at the University of Utah. That made me very proud and happy as I know of a couple of those projects and they are very exciting! Anyway we began our ride. First Cindy and I were riding together. Then my brother Dan and his wife Laura caught up to us and joined out little group. A few minutes later, my brother Shawn, his wife Ivette and son, Trey caught up to us. So we had quite the group. I felt very supported. On one of our rest stops, Laura was reading the writing on the sleeves of my jersey. I hadn't really paid much attention to what it said until that time. On my right sleeve it read "I ride to thrive." And on my left it read, "I am not alone." Talk about a lightning bolt from heaven. All of a sudden, I realized how incredibly true that was. I was overwhelmed with gratitude to my family, my friends, and especially to my Father in Heaven. I knew this was a message He was sending directly from Him, as I had not told anyone how I had been feeling. It was one of those times when I truly felt the love. It was an amazing experience! I am truly grateful to my entire family. They all were very supportive. To those that raised funds and rode and those that cheered us all on at the finish line. And to the friends and coworkers who donated and who cheered me on all year while training. To all of you, please know your love and support was felt and truly appreciated! I don't have the words to express how grateful I am to you all. But I feel I need to give a special shout out to Cindy, Dan, Laura, Shawn, Ivette and Trey. I don't think they even know how much it meant to me to have them show their support and ride by me on Saturday. And even now I can't seem to find the words to truly express my love and gratitude for them. All I can say is THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! from the bottom of my heart!!